Huzzah!

First semester in the bag!

Now time to start sewing, gasp. Wish me luck, but whatever happens I am sure it will be perfect in imperfection right? :D

Ciao!

Sir! News from the frontline.

I am a now an English major.

Pray for all those sad, poor, and decrepit books awaiting my drooling jaws.

Au revoir.

Random shots

Worn.
Vets.
Overbearing.
Disarmed.

Here are a few shots I took at a local graveyard. Kinda cool, and they came out pretty decent for a cell phone camera (looking to upgrade shortly to a nice Canon SLR) but until then this will have to do.

Later.

Leaves fly,
fall and glide to the ground
each one sporting the hue of life.
Hungry worms await their meal

Funny how things work.

I was walking out of my biology lecture today and checked my score which was posted outside of the lecture hall. Not bad for a midterm grade, I am pulling a eighty-three point three. Then I noticed that one of the quizzes that my professor placed on my grade was wrong. She gave me a ten out of ten instead of an eight. I was half tempted to walk away and not say a word, chances are my professor, who has a billion quizzes to enter made a mistake in my favor and I should just walk away knowing that I have a little advantage.

This was not the case. I decided to walk back into lecture and speak to the professor personally. I told her about my grade and what was entered into the midterm. She smiled and said not many would have come up to correct me on that one.

I smiled back and said I am not going to take credit for something that I did not do.

A friend was watching in disbelief as I walked happily away. She looked at me and said that I would make a good Christian. I looked at her and (where I would usually just become rather cynical and trite) said that there are many tenants of Buddhism that carry over and share principles of morality one being not lying. All and all a good day.

On a completely different note:

Wal-mart sells (only online) coffins now...

IF you do not believe me, go to their website and type in 'funeral' the search bar, and scroll down to the bottom of the page. I dare not think what is next on their hit list.

Bye.

Snow

Unique specs of ice

hit dying leaves

melt away

only to fall again

-------------------------

Snow falls

flakes melt

everything becomes one

clouds fill up to bursting

snow falls

Adios

Drunken Dorms

I dislike drunkenness. I dislike like it more so when the residents in my hall decide to drink copious amounts of the fermented beverage then party on my floor, right outside my door at two thirty in the morning.

Do not get me wrong. I like the reasonable refreshment as well as the next guy but I enjoy it in moderation. I dislike being so drunk that I have blackouts. My residents seem to enjoy this feeling. Personally I was the typical freshmen and did not believe the many stories of public intoxication because frankly I thought the people who went to college were there to learn... boy was I wrong.

Let me tell you about the other night.

It was two thirty in the morning and I was trying to get some sleep before my eight in the morning class. I was stirred from my slumber by the sound of screams, laughter, belches and very loud thumping hippity hoppity music. Yuck. I was tired and rather miffed at my situation. Not the best combination. I walked out of my dorm as was greeted by my dorm 'neighbor' slamming his door repeatedly and screaming. He was plastered. I opened up conversation with this neanderthal (I use this term only because it is the best visual way to describe him).

"Dude, what the ****? It is two in the morning and I would like to get some sleep. Could you please shut up?"

His response came after a few seconds of blind staring.

"It wasn't me, and why are you talking to me like that you ******* punk?"

He walked up right to my face and towered over me. Fumes strong enough to ignite a small fire were assaulting my nostrils. He continued.

"You don't talk to me like that you little shit, I will ******* kill you you ******* punk. Little ******* white kids think they own the place."

I was ready to get hit. In fact I welcomed it. With his punch he would have sealed his fate. I would be taken to the hospital and able to press charges of assault. He would have been found to be completely drunk (underage) and hopefully would never see the light of day. I kept staring into his eyes that were at least a foot taller than I. His friends pulled him away after what seemed like forever. Taken back at the fact that I was only just standing there not moving an inch. I guess they were waiting for a fight. I was pretty proud of myself for this act of non-violence, but I do think I could have handled the situation a tad better. Maybe I could not have been that direct with my opening. But I am willing to bet that this story would have had the same conclusion.

The drunk in question is a physical education major... that is right folks, if this guy passes he will possibly teach your children.

If anything this was a rather large lesson on tolerance on my part.

Just thought I would share with you.

Ciao.

Slight sabbatical but back with a vengeance.

Hi all... or hi that single person who has been pretty devout in checking if I posted anything. If you are still reading, then I applaud you.

I have been, for lack of a better term busy. College stuff. You know the drill. I am still taking Jukai this January and I will begin sowing sometime in November through December, I have to do it over breaks. College is going well (if you care) a little stressful but all is well.

I will be trying to post more in the coming weeks in keeping with my promise of posting thoughts to the precept study. Who knows maybe I will break the mundane nature of the precepts study with a few scraps of poetry and other ramblings from your ol' college student.

Either way, stay tuned...

Adios.

You know... I have been thinking, which is dangerous, I should maybe go into detail about each precept listed in the last post. If you the reader are curious it will satisfy your thirst and it will help me. So I think that it what I am going to do, starting now.

I will start with the Three Treasures.

1. Taking refuge in the Buddha.
2. Taking refuge in the Dharma.
3. Taking refuge in the Sangha.

They are not that bad... honest.

Number one is pretty self explanatory "Refuge in the Buddha" well that more or less means to me that one should trust his teacher (Buddha). But here is the catch: everything is a teacher even you the reader. Now that is the deepest meaning. The basic meaning would be to listen to the 'original' Buddha's teachings. One minor misconception about Buddhism that I see and hear is that many think Buddha is a god like figure... more than human. Now some will argue this and I am not going to point fingers, but in my eyes the Buddha was nothing more than a man. He lived, he experienced pain, emotions, and finally death. That sounds pretty human to me. Anyway, taking refuge is more or less trusting the teaching of the man in question.

Number two: Dharma is a teaching, and in this case means the teachings of Buddhism. So one who takes refuge simply gives himself up to the dharma (follow the teaching/trust the teaching).

Number three: Sangha is the group in which people practice the dharma and take refuge in the Buddha. So it is devotion to the group of other Buddhists who practice with you. But I think, personally, it is more than that. Sangha is a group true, but I do not like how that is kinda selective to only Buddhists. I view Sangha as the world including all who reside on it. Afterall one simple teaching is that everyone and everything has potential to be a Buddha... so why not?

Now you should be able to see how these all go together. If you trust the Sangha you trust the Dharma and if you trust the Dharma you are trusting the Buddha.

I could write more, but I believe this does some justice... afterall I am still a student and I am not a teacher so DO NOT take everything I say as truth. I, like the Buddha, am human and prone to the human condition of making mistakes. No one nor anything is perfect all the time.
See that was painless.

Night.

"DO YOU 'CEPT THE LAWRD AND HIS YOUNG'N JESUS?" "ARE YOU READY TO BE DUNKED IN THE NAME OF THE LAWRD?" **Insert heavy southern accent**

"Yes sir..."

That is right Kyle is going to be Baptized... well kinda. I have made the choice to undertake Jukai. This is kinda like a Zen Buddhist baptism. I would become an official Buddhist, and to top it all off I would get a nifty Buddhist name! Now I say official but if one wishes to get technical I am already a Buddhist only because I am trying to stick to the precepts (codes of conduct) and I do recite the four vows (which will be listed below along with the precepts). More or less during Jukai, there will be lots and lots of Zazen and I will 'officially' take the Buddhist precepts and try to live in accordance with them. Oh and the kicker is I am required to sew. Now, if you are reading this and you happen to be a friend, you should know that I have no sewing talent what so ever. Even though I do not even have a slight ability in the use of thread and needles I will attempt to sew a Rakusu... which is a garment for Zen practitioners who have undergone Jukai. Kinda looks like a giant bib. It is a symbol of the buddhist robe, without having the troublesome robe. So I will be giving updates about this sewing endeavor and I hope to finish by the end of July... (HA! wishful thinking).

Four Vows:

To save all sentient beings, though beings numberless.

To transform all delusions, though delusions inexhaustible.

To perceive reality, though reality is boundless.

To attain the enlightened way, a way non attainable.

(Below is what I will be adhering to when I take Jukai)

(Three Treasures)

1. Taking refuge in the Buddha
2. Taking refuge in the Dharma
3. Taking refuge in the Sangha

(Three Pure Precepts)

1. Not Creating Evil
2. Practicing Good
3. Actualizing Good For Others

(Ten Grave Precepts)

1. Affirm life; Do not kill
2. Be giving; Do not steal
3. Honor the body; Do not misuse sexuality
4. Manifest truth; Do not lie
5. Proceed clearly; Do not cloud the mind
6. See the perfection; Do not speak of others errors and faults
7. Realize self and other as one; Do not elevate the self and blame others
8. Give generously; Do not be withholding
9. Actualize harmony; Do not be angry
10. Experience the intimacy of things; Do not defile the Three Treasures

Well that is all for now.

Night.

Fears.

Everyone has them... kinda like opinions and that is okay. But what do we really fear? Fear of loss, spiders, people, heights, death, life, clowns, purple child molesting dinosaurs and the fear of flight. But do we really hate spiders or clowns, or is it our reaction to those subjects? Are we afraid of the subject or the reaction? 

I am deathly afraid of spiders. But is it the creepy eight-legged arachnid that is slowly crawling down a web from the ceiling scary? Or is it the fear that the spider will bite causing PAIN and TORMENT.

So, do we fear the subjects or the potential physical and mental pains associated with those subjects? I will leave that one up to you.

Night.

PS: I wonder what you would think if I told you that if you were bitten by a spider, that in a way and certain viewpoint, you are indirectly bitting yourself. Maybe for another day.

Heads up for anyone who wishes to sit Zazen.

IT IS HARD!

It is kinda like flossing, your dentist keeps telling you to do it but you end up with cut gums and nothing but more of you dentist going "You need to floss more!"

That is Zazen. It is hard... but you must keep going. 

Just thought I would give a proper warning for anyone who is willing to sit.

I have to floss now.

Night.

Even Zen teachers are human.

No joke.

I know it seems that somebody who devoted their lives to the Dharma should be a decent human being in the aspect of not starting/fueling petty arguments. But sadly this is not true. 

This just proves that even though Buddhism is a pretty benevolent religion it does not mean that it cannot be corrupt. Do a simple google search for E-Sangha and you will have enough to read about other Buddhists biting at other Buddhist's throats. It is scary. But this is life I guess. Oh well the only remedy that I can think of is just keep living and sitting so that is what I am going to do.

Night.

Stop reading this and go watch a sunset.

Night.

I want. I need. I must. I crave.

I hear statements like this everywhere I go. We are all guilty of this drive to have. The beauty in sitting Zazen and trying to practice Zen Buddhism is that one becomes aware of this constant wanting and sees how foolish it truly can be. No this is not to say that even the greatest of great masters do not want. It is just how they interpret that feeling. In Zen one tries not to cling to anything. Say I was sitting Zazen. A thought comes to mind like this; "Oh I really want that Klondike Bar in the freezer... yeah I deserve that ice cream, I had a long day." Most people would keep that train of thought until it drove them to get up and satisfy that desperate need for ice cream.

Someone who practices Zen will still crave but the situation would be slightly different. "Oh I want that Klondike Bar in the freezer." The practitioner would acknowledge that thought and let it pass. (NOT AS EASY AS IT SOUNDS!) Eventually the feeling of wanting would leave. 

This I think is a great part of Zen that anyone can begin to practice. If we eliminate simple cravings such as the new shoes, or hot designer brand clothing, one can live with less suffering.

Night.

Practice

The wall is unsympathetic to my cause.

My concentration wonders,

Dinner.

Pastimes.

School.

Birds.

Bees.

Flu.

One breath.

That one moment of clarity is all I need.

That moment brings me back to the seat.

¿Qué es Zen?

Zen es esto.

¿Qué es Zazen?

Zazen es  perfectamente tú y es todo en la vida y nada en la vida.

¿Qué pasa ahora?

Esto es él.

-------

One of my favorite Buddhist stories so far is the story of Buddha and the man with eighty-three problems. 

A man comes to Buddha asking for help. The man then goes on to tell Buddha about eighty-three problems in his life. Thinking that Buddha will help ease these problems. 

The Buddha replies with a simple, "I cannot help you with these eighty-three problems."

At this the man is enraged. "What do you mean you cannot help me with these problems! You are Buddha!"

Buddha: "I can help you with your eighty-fourth problem."

Man: "What eighty-fourth problem?"

Buddha smiles and says, "Your eighty-fourth problem is that you wish not to have the other eighty-three."

Night.

Good and bad. Benevolent and evil. The just and the corrupt. Who makes the choice on who is the 'good' or 'bad' guy?

I just finished watching Che (both parts) and I find this question rather difficult to solve. Che was a communist revolutionary who aided Castro to power in Cuba. After the success of his first revolution Che wished to take the fight to Latin America, namely Bolivia. The Bolivian government did not care for communism and was keen on staying semi-democratic (some say the president at that time was more of a dictator).  Che and his rag tag bunch of Cuban and Bolivian fighters trudged through the Bolivian jungles to fight the good fight and secure a communist party in Bolivia. They did not succeed. Che was captured and executed. 

I kept asking myself, were the motives of Che really that terrible? He was doing what he believed was correct and fought for his ideals and those of others. He seemed to be concerned with the lower peasant class of Bolivia and the education of the children.  On the other hand, were the actions still horrible because they brought violence but minimal casualties of peasants? 

What about the democratic government in Bolivia? They rose to power from violence, as did many major governments throughout history. What justification did they have to say that Che was incorrect? 

I guess what I am trying to get at is the fact that good and evil are two terms that arise from bias views. What is left when we get rid of that bias view and look at things objectively?

Anyway it is time to sit.

Night.

Primero blog and a short introduction.

I have caved in. I have started a blog. Here I will attempt to keep an up to date journal of my experience with Zen Buddhism. This includes thoughts, ramblings, teachings, and general Zen stuff.  WARNING! I am not an English major nor do I care to be, so I do apologize for any grammatical mistakes I make throughout this whole endeavor. Other than that I am a pretty easy going guy and open to any comments or questions.

I am a soon to be college student who wishes to study the natural sciences with a minor in Spanish. I began to study meditation about a year and a half ago, and eventually that led to an interest in Zen. From there I began to sit according to the Soto style which emphasizes 'just sitting.' I really enjoy what I do and believe that it is a worth while practice. I will make an attempt to make this blog a regular thing, but no promises yet. 

That is all for now.